Shit

A shitty life is:
When you wake up in the morning and in the middle of the night because someone has to shit
When you get called to drop everything to help someone shit
When you get called to clean after somone's shit
When you're eating but have to stop because someone needs help shitting
When you constantly hear farts, when you constantly smell farts
When you constantly see and clean after shit
When almost all you see and do has something to do with shit
When you realize that there's nothing you can do but deal with all the shit
Holy shit

anxiety

Time stands still
when circumstances
declare your indefinite
hiatus from life.
On constant adrenaline rush
motivated by functioning depression.

Wondering about faith
in an Almighty, Omnipotent
and the dissonance to that claim
and existential reality.

How can that be true?

I stare at the imminent
and protracted decay
of life.
Living among the sick,
oppressed, vulnerable and dying.

No silver linings in sight.