anxiety

...for love is as strong as death...
Song of Songs 8:6

Needless to say no matter what I'll say or do your heart cannot be mine...

Fate seems to have this twisted humor that guts out our greatest hopes and dreams.

Why must this be too early seen unknown and known too late?

Living with the closeness of this reality of pain makes me wish that somehow I would be smitten with the surd of death --I have finally met you.

For me that is enough, for I can never go farther than being the person that I am to you now.

God knows how I want it to be like that but it seems that indeed the heart is deceitful in the midst of a flesh that's too weak to know boundaries in its desire for companionship, for the sweet kiss and empathic embrace of a fellow human being with whom in a heartbeat I would unquestioningly give my life to.

I am lonely. I am sad. I feel as though like I am dead.

And I just might as well be dead for all I care. You are there and I can't have you --or better yet I cannot give my life to you as I would hope you'd want me to.

I love you too bad I’ll never be able to say this to your face…