cras amet qui nunquam amavit; quique amavit, cras amet

Pain.
Such must be the language of love.
There was this line in this movie that I know that says:
“Isn't everything we do in life a way to be loved a little more? 1”
As much as I hate to admit it there is truth in that
But the problem lies in the idea of love itself.
Is love really about that of feeling that we are loved?
Or is it about the idea of getting way past the point of caring
whether we are loved or not?
Love hurts that much is obvious.
But what is life without pain anyway?
And what is love good for if it is only something we desire from the other?
It is indeed a perpetual struggle to want to be loved.
And yet to discover that the one we love would be happier, better off without us
Or even longing for love from another…
Perhaps to say: “I love you”
Really means: “You’re free as far as my desire for finding my personal completion in you is concerned…”
If that is the case...
...Then it is no wonder that “the Cross is the necessary contradiction of all we know in life. 2”

1. Celine (Julie Delpy), Before Sunrise (Columbia Pictures: 1995)
2. Robinson, David. Rappings (Grand Rapids: Tyndale 1971). P.47
   

Earth Day 2010: Love and life

Here's something that I wrote for Earth Day on the Greenpeace Philippines blog

22 April 2010: Earth Day
It is almost midnight.

Earth Day is only minutes away from being over. Another day, has passed and like in so many things that are subject to time, this day now becomes part of my memories and are now recorded as a chapter in my life.

I am more than glad that this remembrance of Earth Day was done with the celebration of the life of a dear person with whom I count myself fortunate to have as a friend .

Perhaps it is safe to say that in as far as speaking about Earth Day and the need to uphold the urgent struggle of safeguarding the environment, the celebration of Earth Day and the work for those in the environmental movement must always be reflected in the context of love for life –and I am not talking here about token sentimentally about Mother Nature, nor am I simply being a bleeding heart for the cute and cuddly animals, nor am I romanticizing my love for the outdoors –far from it!

While it is true that the aforementioned things are part of the things that bear weight in my decision to commit myself to my work with Greenpeace, a larger part of me recognizes the resolute urgency of taking action for the environment lies in the love that can be found in life that is shared in relationships –relationships that can be found in that of parents, grandparents, children, siblings, relatives friends, comrades, kindred spirits and lovers.

tristitia

I am on the brink.

I can tell especially now as I feel my body ache and my sanity and control tail spin beyond my capacity to maintain fortitude in the midst of overwhelming odds on things and things hoped for in a reality that is too blunt to candycoat the impossibility of my greatest expectations.

And those poison drinks that we use as placebo beverages to cover up the pain of our innermost longings.

I am alone in the midst of a crowd. I can hear them talk, laugh and talk more about themselves, their lives and their hopes and dreams.

But what about me?

Easter and the triumph of life over death

This morning I greeted Easter in a taxi cab.

There I watched the darkness of Black Saturday give way to the piercing light of the Easter dawn. Light beaming, shining brightly as the resurrection hope glistened in the quiet streets of Manila.

Easter was spent early at church with the remembrance of Christ’s death in the Eucharist and the commemoration of dedicating one’s self to the resurrected Christ in the waters of baptism. It is there that it climaxed with the deafening chorus of the Halleluiahs chorus from Handel’s Messiah.

Easter was remembered with a celebration of life that came with a whole day spent in the company of those that I love.

Easter is where love and life is both celebrated and given meaning with the miracle of Christ’s resurrection the triumph of life over death.

Nicky Perlas' Easter reflection

I met him personally, early last year during the formation meeting of the Network Opposed to the Bataan Nuclear Power Plant (NO to BNPP). He was not your typical picture of an anti-nukes activist, he did not fit into any of the stereotypical look that activists whom I had met had.

On the height of the campaign against the proposed bill to revive the Bataan Nuclear Power Plant I’ve seen him in the protests, symposiums and congressional hearings where at one point he was even crudely confronted by Congressman Mark Cojuangco, the bills chief proponent and there I saw him gracefully disarm Cojuangco by not raising his voice nor did he give out any aggressive gesture towards Cojuangco.

Now he’s running for president, and albeit with the admirable passion of putting what he personally believes in into the fabric of mainstream Philippine politics. Only time will tell, if the general populance will share his vision.