Life: a divine journey through space in time

In less than 24 hours I will once again recall a year past, say: “thank you,” remind everyone of my age –celebrate my birthday, in consequence be reminded again of a milestone in my life journey that is both exciting and demanding.

As I write this my heart beats albeit restlessly because at present my journey is not what I would call ‘well.’ I have a lot of things happening and at times I honestly feel like I a twig in the middle of a whirlwind and at times it seems like I am hanging on a thread. So writing about life as a journey for me is quite difficult, partly because there’s that persistent discomfort that I myself am wishing that I’d be relieved of.

It has been said that life on earth can be considered as a journey –thus it is an activity that transcends time and space wherein environments, culture and values play a vital role and not to mention are formed afterwards acquired as a means upon which we interpret reality –thus forming us into the persons that we are.

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dia in su il fantasma

"Meaningless! Meaningless!"
says the Teacher.
"Utterly meaningless!
Everything is meaningless."
Ecclesiastes 1:2 (NIV)

I only knew her for a few minutes.

Yet her life speaks so much about how meaningless and unfair the world is...

I can still remember how I carried her beaten and bloodied body to the vet and buried the husk that once hosted her life in a shallow grave in our front yard.

I didn't even got the chance to know her name...

She was so young and yet so thin...so hungry...hungry enough to risk being mauled by our dog Hershey who thought her presence was an invasion of our house...

Our lunch cut short with the sound of agonized howling and the sight of her at the mercy of Hershey’s jaws. It took a splash of cold water for Hershey to release her from her death grip...

A punctured lung. A broken spleen. Ravaged intestines. The sight of her limping in a pool of blood.

Three bloody syringes to the heart ends her misery, her life and all its meaninglessness.

A glass eye. A still body. A contented frown.

What could be more tragic than dying young, hungry, painfully and unloved in the arms of strangers?

The mystery of life and death in barely sixty minutes of anguish and tears.

in hoping that...

To be totally honest, I’m really not that in a jolly mood lately.
Things haven’t going my way lately I am as they say: ‘stuck in a rut’ and I’m definitely not liking it.
I’m unemployed.
I’m a bum.
I’m broke.
My continuing quest for a job has been but a waging battle that has not yet reaped anything that one could say as meaningful.
I’m constantly plagued by memories my the decision to follow a pursuit of studying at MFI and by the resignation that I filed from work a few months back.
I’m plagued by a feign realization that I might have made the same decision and that stepping out in faith for something would get me nowhere.
I just turned 24 and I’m right now here whining online on some computer shop in Manila, waiting for someone who said would be out by 8.
It’s 7:19 on my watch and it looks like it’ll be taking some time what more to waste it on that spewing out mindless chatter on the world wide web the information superhighway.
I hope and pray that this is just another one of those phases wherein by God’s grace I’d make it through just like those other times…
That’s really what I’m praying for.
Especially now that we’re in the midst of this twisted political climate that I really no longer care about, (I’ve just found refuge in apathy as something that is very therapeutic since I’ve really ended up with more heartaches whenever I’d tie this with my left-wing libertarian line of thought.)
I tell you caring for something that you believe is right could be very tragic and take it from experience it’s the very thing that has gotten me in this state in the first place.
I know you’d rather have me in an enthusiastic mood but as of the moment I can and I pray to God that He’d make it better.
This is not an act of doubting I simply just come to a point wherein I’m getting into this aching feeling of self-doubt as to whether I’m going somewhere or going nowhere with how things are going in for me lately.
I hope everything would be better soon….